I'm back!! Sorry that you haven't heard from me in over a month on this thing...I just haven't made myself sit down to write about everything that has been going on in my life, and it's A LOT. But I am going to try to be regular about writing again.
So much has happened since I have been back. SO MUCH. I could write a post every day for the month of september about these past 6 weeks, and STILL probably have more to say. So I am just going to start with the present, the now, and hash out things that have happened in the past 6 weeks when they come up, or just when I get around to it maybe. Some of the things that have been going on my life are drastically different and might shock some of you who I don't talk to on a regular basis (which probabaly pertains to no one!, because like 2 or 3 people read my blog, and I talk to them all the time). Bear with me on updating :)
Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life it seemed like, for many reasons. When I crawled in bed the night before, I had that feeling in my stomach of just like a “big sigh”. Does that make sense? I just crawled in bed Wednesday night, sighed, and tried to take those entire sigh thoughts captive. It was a night where all I wanted to do was call Brian, but knew that I couldn’t, and called Brynn instead.
I don’t really like change, and I don’t exactly always do well with it. Actually, coping with change is something that the Lord really taught me and stretched me about this summer, when I was back packing and when Brian came. Really it’s because for most of the summer, I was in a
My semester has been characterized by change: new house, new room mates, getting my first job in college, getting my second job in college, not being in a relationship anymore, hanging out with new people, going to a new hope group, and I could probably go on. And honestly, the emotions that come with dealing with all of the change come and go in waves, and so there have been good days and not so good days.
I felt like yesterday was one of those not so good days. Really because it was Thursday, and Thursday has equaled Hope Group at the Henry household for almost a year for me. And last night, I went to a whole new hope group, with whole new people, not at the Henry’s, not with Brian. And it was HARD. I spent most of the afternoon at the Henry’s helping Melodi out with homeschool, and when 5:50 rolled around, I had to leave to go get ready for hope group and to let them get ready for hope group. And it was just a sad moment for me…telling Camille that I wouldn’t be over there for Hope Group, her asking “but why?”, seeing all of the chairs set up and knowing that I wouldn’t be occupying one of them, and walking out the door to go to a whole new family’s house. And I was, and still am, excited for what the Lord has in store for me this semester, including in my new hope group. I am so excited that I will be able to share the love that overflows from my former hope group family. I cant wait to establish that bond with my new hope group. But beginnings are always hard, and last night was ROUGH. I was on the brink of tears from like 5:30 when I was getting ready to leave the Henry’s till 6:30 when I pulled up at my new hope group leaders’ house. It was just so surreal to not be at the Henry’s last night, not be around the people I grew to love so much last semester, and not be going with Brian.
The night ended up being really good though. Hope Group was FUN, we went to the college meet-n-greet, and I got to fellowship with so many living hopers.The Lord is doing AMAZING things in my life right now. Change can be good, and I have to remind myself of that sometimes. What I DO know is that despite change and despite unknowns, the Lord is constant, and His ways are perfect. I rest easy in His stability.